No gloves, no love!

A while back I assisted in taking a violent criminal into custody that ended up throwing a wrench onto my personal life.  I won’t get into any specifics about the case because has not been adjudicated and will likely end up being a death penalty case.  Regardless, when I went hands on with the suspect I experienced a signifigant blood exposure.  The suspect was very bloody from the way he was taken into custody (he lost a fight with the land shark that sniffed him out).  Now the call up to that point was pretty tense and because we had been preparing for an ambush, when I exited my car I didn’t  glove up and grabbed my rifle. 

Let’s face it,  if I can choose which tool to take to an ambush,  my 10.5" barreled AR-15 with Aimpoint Micro optics and light and more importantly multiple 30 round mags (loaded to 28 rounds of course to stay within department policy) is going to be pretty high on the list, much higher than gloves.  I was already wearing my vest but as far as other PPE (personal protective equipment) I could have done better.  Sure my ballistic helmet would have been a good idea but even the basics would have been a good idea.  I had two pair of black nitril gloves in my vest and another pair in the my pants pockets, but waited too long to get them on.

Once the tempo of the call slowed down I should have gloved up before touching anyone.  But this time I didn’t and really wish I had.  I am a pretty serious germ-a-phobe and really prefer to glove up before touching people regardless.  But like I said I didn’t this time.  And when I looked down I had his blood covering my hand and running down the back my hand over some scabs from working on my car and down my arm.   As soon as I could I cleaned it off and went through three bottles of hand sanitizer to clean up. 

Later when the suspect was receiving medical treatment it was determined that he had MRSA, this combined with the fact the he was a little guy and had been in prison for several years, I assumed he got passed around like a playboy so who knows what else he had.  So I completed the appropriate blood exposure paperwork and went through the processes prescribed.  I went to the doctor several times and they drew my blood several times for testing and gave me some guidelines.  Because they had not analyzed the suspects blood yet they put me on the worst case scenario precautions.  Among them was no unprotected sex with my wife for six months.  There were some other even more intrusive personal limitations given to me that I will spare you the details of.  To confirm, I asked, “Okay so no unprotected sex with my wife but unprotected sex with hookers is still good right?”  He had a stunned look on his face so I let him off the hook and told him, “I’m joking you know, right?”

 Suffice it to say, this momentary of lapse of not putting PPE gloves on had complicated my life comprehensively.  Because of no gloves, I was forced into the scenario of no glove no love.  I learned now that no matter what when it comes time to touch people, take the time to glove up.  Not just for the six months of probation, but just to avoid the stuff you can bring home to the rest of the family.         

TLD Gloves

As you can imagine being a cop I get to carry lots of cool gadgets on my batman belt, on my person and in my car.  Things like a taser, gun (okay, more than one), neato flashlight, weapon light, baton, handcuffs, AR15 rifle, bullet proof vest just to name a few.  But when it comes down to it my favorite tool I carry is a pair of Troy Lee Design gloves.  Now these are not just any gloves.  Sampson in the Bible had his hair, my gloves are my power.  I put them on when I need to overcome the forces of evil.  The most amazing thing happens when I ware the gloves; everyone listens to me and obeys me.  Somehow, I have tapped into the magical powers these gloves possess.  I haven’t figured out how or why they work so well or if they only work for me, and I don’t care as long as they work for me, I’m OK with it.

The gloves look like normally motorcycle gloves with the exception of a carbon fiber shield going across the knuckles.  Now I have to admit that the carbon fiber shield on the knuckles is where most of the mystical power lays.  Normally carbon fiber is a material that is lighter than steel and just as strong, not to mention looks super neato, but this carbon fiber on these gloves is special.  As soon as I put on my gloves everybody listens attentively.  

The first night I found out about the magical powers was when I arrested a huge mammoth of a man for DUI.  It was his third DUI and he was likely to get prison time for his crime and he was not very friendly.  I did my best to keep him calm.  He was wearing an Iron Maiden concert shirt (from the Killers tour, excellent) so we talked music for a bit I told him how I had seen “Maiden” back in the day and they ROCKED live, I even gave the metal horns (you know, forefinger and pinky up, middle and ring finger down with the thumb crossing over the middle and ring finger, you know the international sign for rockin it metal style) as I told him how the 10 foot tall Eddy came out on stage and fireworks went off as they played “Run to the hills”.   “On a scale of one to awesome that is killer bro!” was his response.

So he was pretty cool till we got to the jail.  Then I guess it sunk in that he was located in unsanitary tributary without locomotion (up poop creek without a paddle).  As I helped dislodge him from the back of the car, seriously he was 6’4” 340 lbs, and it was a major squeeze to get him back there.  He was very verbally abusive and started trying to pull away and bump back into me to push me into stuff as we made our way through the corridors.  He told me he was going to “kick my ass” as soon as the cuffs came off.   I sat him on the bench; I pulled my magical gloves from my left cargo pocket.  It was like they were glowing, his eyes got bigger as I put them on.  The other dude on the bench looked at the gloves, them me, then the big boy then he looked away like he didn’t want to see what was coming.  I put the gloves on slowly, making sure they were snagged up.  I punched my each fist into the other hand to try out the fit.  As I was putting them on I told him the following.  “I am going to take off the cuffs to process you for DUI and this could go one of two ways.  The easy way, for all involved or the hard way, the choice is yours.  His eyes were staring at my gloves as he said “I’m cool, I won’t do nothin”.  To which I replied, “Excellent, that makes it easier on all of us” as I gave him a sly smile.  He did in fact stay cool.

The gloves have become a ritual for me as I talk people from the precipice of getting a beating to a calm submissive state.  The conversation usually goes something like this.  “F-you cop, I aint going to jail.”  In most cases I put on the magic gloves before I get there so I check the fit of my gloves and tell them.  “This can go a couple of ways here, the best way is with you putting your hands behind your back (or sitting there being cool, depending on the situation) or with me kneeling on the back of your head and you spitting out blood as I cuff you up.   I get paid the same either way.”  Now those words said with those gloves  is like mustard on a hot dog, it always works. 

My gloves have a couple of mended tears in them.  The mends I did myself, so I don’t disturb the mystical powers.  As you can imagine, I am no seamstress so the mends look like Frankenstein scars, but I think that adds character to them.  I am about ready for a new pair and you can bet that I will get another pair of TLD APEX gloves, the best gloves a cop could ever ware.  I just hope the next ones have the same magical carbon fiber.